Getting real; staying clear


…But the miracle had come simply
from allowing yourself to know
that you had found it, that this time
someone walking out into the clear air
from far inside you had decided not to walk

past it any more; the miracle had come
at the roadside in the kneeling to drink 
and the prayer you said, and the tears you shed
and the memory you held and the realization 
that in this silence you no longer had to keep 
your eyes and ears averted from the place 
that could save you, that you had been given 
the strength to let go of the thirsty dust laden 
pilgrim-self that brought you here, walking 
with her bent back, her bowed head 
and her careful explanations…Excerpt from “The Well”
From Pilgrim: Poems by David Whyte
©2012 David Whyte

I read The Course In Miracles many times before I really felt the comfort and wisdom of its words. During my immersion in the life and work of recovery in 2006, I kept that book close like it was a life jacket. I was learning to swim; I had no idea that it would teach me to walk on water too. Metaphors are invitations you know, to get to know the mystery that underpins them. And, I am devoted to that mystery above all else. I’m glad I didn’t quit before the miracles happened, because I’ve learned that miracles aren’t really events in time; they are the result of seeing things in a new light. The very same things have taken on new meaning and beauty in my life, and it makes me believe there was a purpose for the great time-out I’ve emerged from too. My soul sent me there, and I was on the sidelines with Angels. Believe me, I know that is true today. Nothing happens in God’s Universe by mistake, it just depends on how you look at things.

So, what happened to make me feel this way? My heart opened, I guess, and so did new eyes. I see things with a softer hue; from somewhere deep within me. It all happened here, in Kansas City Missouri; the “Heartland of America”. No mistake I landed here, even though I hadn’t a clue why I was moving here over six years ago. Such is the mystery of Grace; I moved to more than a new city, but to a new way of being in the world.

I recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body, thank God. Tomorrow night, I’m going to share my story at a place I landed six years ago, just weeks after my surrender. Sporting a hospital bracelet, shaking like a leaf, dirty, shamed and wearing the same clothes I had on the day I left weeks before. I was a scary mess. But, I was willing. That’s all I can say. Willing to face my pain; be forgiven, and loved.

I’m so glad to have good news to share. It makes my heart sing. Speaking of singing, here’s Josh Groban singing, Vincent.


4 responses

  1. The speaking heart and the listening tongue. Such beauty in your words.

    October 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm

  2. Thank you. Such beauty in miracle mindedness.

    October 20, 2012 at 8:25 pm

  3. Dorrie

    The wisdom and clearer seeing that comes from total annihilation (up to and close to losing your physicality) is the miracle for me.
    Of course during that process one is no longer in the driver’s (uh hello never really was.. Just illusion) seat and could no more slow or accelerate the process than a blind man with no feet.But certainly ..and you might agree…had I known the sheer Bliss of Unfoldment Of New seeing daily..moment by moment….the pain of resistance might not have been there..that too is the miracle.
    While I have occasional spurts of “attitude”..quite infrequent actually I catch myself being provoked by something deep inside..still desiring self compassion and nourishment from me..that too is a miracle.That a thought away..a breath my salvation…Alignment.
    Walking talking breathing miracles
    That’s what we all are..and the miracle is knowing it..for sure!!
    Thank you MaryAnn!

    October 29, 2012 at 12:22 am

  4. Yes, my friend. You are brave; beautifully brave.

    October 29, 2012 at 12:56 am

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