Getting real; staying clear


All man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone. ~Blaise Pascal~~

Stone statute of woman Stillness

Kansas City had two major snow storms in the past week.  The Mayor declared a Emergency each time, and all activity ground to a halt. People stayed home, and things got really quiet outside. Power went out for many people too, and that freaked them out. It made me very grateful that I love the stillness, even without a major snow storm, and that I’ve found a source of power within that sustains me. Even power outages don’t worry me, because I know it will come back on. I live almost by candlelight anyway, and have plenty of warm clothes for such times. The power companies here are efficient with such things too.

I heard people say that they “couldn’t stand another day alone”, and that the hours without power were, “the longest of their life.” There was a time in my life when I felt that way too, and I went from place to place in search of some elusive comfort. One of the most crashingly painful moments of my life was realizing that I would never find that comfort “out there.” It terrified me for a time, because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have to know, I only had to want to know how to feel good. I loved every minute of the storms this year.  The stillness; the beauty of the snow, and the arrival of a new variety of birds at my feeder. I felt like this time was a gift, and a sanctioned time out from thinking and regular activity.

I meditated and contemplated. I rested and I wrote.  I didn’t have a shovel because I’ve not needed one here, so far. And yet, I was plowed out each day by some kind passerby with a big truck. I noticed how grateful I was to love where I live, and how simply I live. Restored in a way that I can’t describe, I feel clear, and ready.

I loved the kindness I saw in others, as they helped each other dig out. And today, I noticed how friendly people seemed after a day or two off.

Appreciating stillness and knowing the true source of power, are two of the most profound changes in me since I recovered from alcoholism and depression. That’s because I have a relationship with God, and stillness is where I found it. Even among external chaos and without a great deal of training, God came to me. Because I wanted God more than I wanted anything. I had my share of great things and memorable experiences, but they didn’t fill me the way God does.

Spiritual teachers of all kinds write about simplicity and stillness precisely because of their potency and power. Less is more. Less noise, less distraction, less effort.

I’m finally learning to relax. When I relax, I can be moved. That’s what I feel in the stillness; power within, and that source will never go out.

I heard this beautiful song yesterday. I Will Find You by Marie Brennan of Clannad. I guess I listened to music too.

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″  ~Blaise Pascal~src=”; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>


3 responses

  1. mary soper

    Mary Ann, The quietness abounds at Old Kiln as well as it town….I am mostly staying in town this winter. The snow is beautiful in the tall pines and birch trees and the shadows in the afternoon on the white snow are so beautiful. I love being here in the winter when it is like this. While we do have lots of snow nothing like the old days. by now we should really have huge piles of it. that gets me worring about another summer of drought. By my count that will be 6 years. If we don’t get a big melt there is just not enough maoisture in the ground. I am just asking the Universe to provide. Since I can not get to the bird feeders, I am letting others have them for the winter. After the big melt, they will come back from the neighborhood vacation to food in my feeders for them. The Lake is beautiful and so different every day depending on the wind and weather. The ice flows around, the harbor opens and closes as it chooses and the sky has been tremendous. Lots of shades of gray with a stray pink or golden hue depending on the time of day . I just want to let you know all is well and quiet up here in Superior Country. Love, Mary

    Mary Soper 101 Old Kiln Marquette, Michigan 49855 e-mail – telephone – 906/249.9379

    Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2013 22:48:15 +0000 To:

    February 28, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    • So good to hear from you, and of the Great Lake. I can picture the scene entirely, based on your description. I am happy for the birds that they are cared for when you aren’t able to, and that they come back to you when you can. Yes, I see the moisture for the earth provided too. My love and blessings to you too.

      February 28, 2013 at 8:34 pm

  2. Reblogged this on going naked being seen and commented:

    In honor of the Solstice, and the stillness, I’m reposting this piece.

    December 22, 2013 at 12:44 pm

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