Getting real; staying clear


Crashing Waves

There are natural cycles of creation, and unnatural ones of mis-creation. I’ve ridden waves that look like this photo, it’s just that I don’t know if I feel above the crest, or submerged somewhere underneath, waiting to surface.  I’ve taken on a different kind of job, and I feel like I’m in a storm sometimes. It’s been painful to go from Zen-like, to exhausted, and over stimulated, most days. And, the old, “I need the money”, just doesn’t hold the weight it used to for me when I worked like a dog for some seemingly plausible reason. Haven’t I already done this? Made this decision; chosen a way full of ease and grace?

Yes, but I need to choose again. Creation seems to loop around the same patterns for an adjustment. The good things, and the painful ones too. I’m conscious now, and my hope is that corrections happen quicker these days. And, as A Course In Miracles says, “I don’t know what this means.”

And, today, I don’t. But, I do want to feel good.

So, that means my inner life will resurface as the flow in my life, after these waves crash. It’s times like these that remind me just how precious life is, and my loves are. And, I will not squander my time or energy on things that do not return vital energy.

Thank you God, I really miss life.

Here’s SEAL, with Rolling.

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2 responses

  1. Are you being patient with yourself? Are you are having a Brother Lawrence experience. “He was assigned to the monastery kitchen where, amidst the tedious chores of cooking and cleaning at the constant bidding of his superiors, he developed his rule of spirituality and work. In his Maxims, Lawrence writes, “Men invent means and methods of coming at God’s love, they learn rules and set up devices to remind them of that love, and it seems like a world of trouble to bring oneself into the consciousness of God’s presence. Yet it might be so simple. Is it not quicker and easier just to do our common business wholly for the love of him?”

    August 4, 2013 at 2:10 am

  2. Mother Teresa taught a valuable lesson to a friend. It comes to mind, here. To care for others, one needs to practice self care, first.

    August 4, 2013 at 4:55 am

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